Saturday, August 1, 2009
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Moses: A Leader Called by "I Am"
JOURNEY ONLY BEGUN
The morning sun filtered through the plane windows as we made our way across the Pacific Ocean from Tokyo, Japan to Seattle. I was flying home from 3 fantastic weeks of missions and missions photography in Thailand, but God still had something to teach me on the last couple hours of that flight.
I pulled my Bible out of the seat pocket in front of me and opened to Exodus 3.
THE ANSWER = "I AM"
In the pages of Exodus 3, we find Moses on his face before God at the burning bush. Moses answers God's call to him with fear and surrender, "Here am I." GOD, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob proceeds to tell Moses that He has seen the afflictions and heard the cries of his people, the Israelites. He says, "I am come down to deliver them... and bring them... unto a good land flowing with milk and honey..." [Exodus 3:8] In verse ten, God calls Moses to lead the people out of Egypt. Moses replies like most of us, "Who am I that I should go?" God's simple answer is this: "I will be with thee; I have sent thee." [Wow, I love that. God doesn't reply in a way that Moses probably expected.] Moses then basically asks, "What am I going to tell the children of Israel when they ask me who sent me?" And then God says to Moses, "I AM THAT I AM."
Like Moses, we ask God questions that relate to, "Who? What? Why? When? Where? How?" But our answer can only be found in "I AM." I think so many times we, Called Missionaries, also wonder, "Who am I that I should be doing this? I'm not outgoing enough. I'm not naturally a leader! I'm don't have the right kind of personality." But God is bigger than an personality type, spiritual gift, or human limitation. He reveals to us in His word that HE is enough. If He is the one that called, won't He go all the way with us?
TAKE MY VOICE AND LET ME [SPEAK] ALWAYS ONLY FOR MY KING
As I continued further into the flight, the Lord brought my attention to Exodus 4:10. It is here where Moses said to the Lord, "O my Lord, I am not elequent...I am slow of speech, and of a slow tongue." I had NEVER seen that verse before -- and for so many years, I have told the Lord the same thing Moses did. I'm not talkative enough! How can I possibly be involved in ministry and be of few words? We find the Lord's amazing answer in the verse following, "And the Lord said unto him, Who hath made man's mouth? or who maketh the dumb, or deaf, or the seeing, or the blind? have not I the Lord? Now therefore go, and I will be thy mouth, and teach thee what thou shalt say." W.o.a.h. A chill ran down my spine. The Lord created my mouth! God created me to be of few words! No, I don't know why He made me to be quiet, but He did for His purpose and His plans. He could've made me completely deaf if He wanted to!
For the first time in my life perhaps, I was suddenly grateful the way the Lord made me, as an individual. Being outgoing doesn't matter. But it is important to use the words that we do speak [whether few or many] to glorify our King. He will put words into our mouth and speak through us when He wants to ... because it's in that moment that only He is glorified, and not us.
NEVER ALONE
So. Did God make Moses pack his bags and traverse along his merry way by himself?
Even just after 3 weeks in Thailand, I found myself getting lonsome. Being around people of a different nationality [even though I loved them all so very, very dearly!] and not being able to speak the language or converse with any people was a hard thing. Not being able to communicate to anyone after a long, trying, or discouraging day wasn't easy. But it was there on that early morning flight from Tokyo to Seattle that the the Lord reassured me that just as He sent Aaron to help Moses, He won't allow me to sojourn the path of the world changer's by myself. God didn't intend for us to walk alone. The Bible itself says that two is better than one, because more is accomplished for the Lord when many work together towards one goal. Praise God for encouraging friends who walk alongside of us!
So my friends, even though it was at the very tail end of the missions trip, God revealed beautiful truths to my heart and confirmed to me His calling on my life. He reminded me that every question that arises on our journey called Life, can only be found in Himself, because He is the great "I Am", worthy to be praised.
The morning sun filtered through the plane windows as we made our way across the Pacific Ocean from Tokyo, Japan to Seattle. I was flying home from 3 fantastic weeks of missions and missions photography in Thailand, but God still had something to teach me on the last couple hours of that flight.
I pulled my Bible out of the seat pocket in front of me and opened to Exodus 3.
THE ANSWER = "I AM"
In the pages of Exodus 3, we find Moses on his face before God at the burning bush. Moses answers God's call to him with fear and surrender, "Here am I." GOD, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob proceeds to tell Moses that He has seen the afflictions and heard the cries of his people, the Israelites. He says, "I am come down to deliver them... and bring them... unto a good land flowing with milk and honey..." [Exodus 3:8] In verse ten, God calls Moses to lead the people out of Egypt. Moses replies like most of us, "Who am I that I should go?" God's simple answer is this: "I will be with thee; I have sent thee." [Wow, I love that. God doesn't reply in a way that Moses probably expected.] Moses then basically asks, "What am I going to tell the children of Israel when they ask me who sent me?" And then God says to Moses, "I AM THAT I AM."
Like Moses, we ask God questions that relate to, "Who? What? Why? When? Where? How?" But our answer can only be found in "I AM." I think so many times we, Called Missionaries, also wonder, "Who am I that I should be doing this? I'm not outgoing enough. I'm not naturally a leader! I'm don't have the right kind of personality." But God is bigger than an personality type, spiritual gift, or human limitation. He reveals to us in His word that HE is enough. If He is the one that called, won't He go all the way with us?
TAKE MY VOICE AND LET ME [SPEAK] ALWAYS ONLY FOR MY KING
As I continued further into the flight, the Lord brought my attention to Exodus 4:10. It is here where Moses said to the Lord, "O my Lord, I am not elequent...I am slow of speech, and of a slow tongue." I had NEVER seen that verse before -- and for so many years, I have told the Lord the same thing Moses did. I'm not talkative enough! How can I possibly be involved in ministry and be of few words? We find the Lord's amazing answer in the verse following, "And the Lord said unto him, Who hath made man's mouth? or who maketh the dumb, or deaf, or the seeing, or the blind? have not I the Lord? Now therefore go, and I will be thy mouth, and teach thee what thou shalt say." W.o.a.h. A chill ran down my spine. The Lord created my mouth! God created me to be of few words! No, I don't know why He made me to be quiet, but He did for His purpose and His plans. He could've made me completely deaf if He wanted to!
For the first time in my life perhaps, I was suddenly grateful the way the Lord made me, as an individual. Being outgoing doesn't matter. But it is important to use the words that we do speak [whether few or many] to glorify our King. He will put words into our mouth and speak through us when He wants to ... because it's in that moment that only He is glorified, and not us.
NEVER ALONE
So. Did God make Moses pack his bags and traverse along his merry way by himself?
Even just after 3 weeks in Thailand, I found myself getting lonsome. Being around people of a different nationality [even though I loved them all so very, very dearly!] and not being able to speak the language or converse with any people was a hard thing. Not being able to communicate to anyone after a long, trying, or discouraging day wasn't easy. But it was there on that early morning flight from Tokyo to Seattle that the the Lord reassured me that just as He sent Aaron to help Moses, He won't allow me to sojourn the path of the world changer's by myself. God didn't intend for us to walk alone. The Bible itself says that two is better than one, because more is accomplished for the Lord when many work together towards one goal. Praise God for encouraging friends who walk alongside of us!
So my friends, even though it was at the very tail end of the missions trip, God revealed beautiful truths to my heart and confirmed to me His calling on my life. He reminded me that every question that arises on our journey called Life, can only be found in Himself, because He is the great "I Am", worthy to be praised.
Monday, June 8, 2009
Final thoughts
It's a hot and sticky night here in Bangkok, Thailand. Earlier this evening I found myself walking down a narrow street with the girls on my team... a full moon shining down on us, people wrapping up their street stands for the night, a dog barking nearby, and the sounds of dozens of frogs ribbiting. It was beautiful just to see and hear it all. I had to emind myself that I am actually half way around the world right now in southeast Asia!
I also had to remind myself tonight that the time has come for me to go home. Sometimes I find it easy when I'm on a long trip [like this] to get so wrapped up in what I'm doing, that I forget that I have more waiting ahead of me AFTER the trip. And when I do starting thinking about going back to the "normal and mundane", it can get kind of depressing. But the truth is that God has more for me to do and discover when I go back to where He has me planted right now. Just last night I was reading a devotional by Charles Swindoll and it had some timely encouragement.
"God has some extremely exciting things in mind for His children. For some it may happen tomorrow. For some it may happen next month or next year or five years down the road. We don't know when. For some.... it could happen today. But the beautiful thing about this adventure called faith is that we can count on Him never to lead us astray. He knows exactly where He's taking us. Our job is to obey. 'I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.' Isaiah 41:10." -- Charles Swindoll
Tomorrow [Tuesday] is our last day here in Bangkok. In the morning we're going to be ministrying through singing and testimonies at the Bible College here. Pastor Rick asked me to share my testimony to the students here. Pray that we'd be a blessing and encouragement to the college students! The rest of the day will be slow paced... as we pack and get ready for the 24+ hour trip home. My team and I fly out of Bangkok early Wednesday morning! We all split up in Tokyo, Japan and I'll be flying the longest leg of the trip [Tokyo to Seattle] by myself [how lonely!] After clearing customs in Seattle, I will make my last stretch home - back to Denver, Colorado!
People in Thailand have asked me, "So what do you have planned when you get home?" Two days after I get home, I'm a bridesmaid in a wedding [I'm going to have to fight the jet lag with chugs of coffee... how horrible would it be to have a bridemaid pass out in the ceremony... :ahem:], and the very next day I head out with my family for a 2 week RV trip to Minnesota, Wisconsin, and Michigan! From there, my schedule appears to be busy with traveling around the US as I shoot weddings, senior, and maternity photo jobs through the end of the year. But in all reality, I dont have anything planned. I was kind of hoping to be in Togo, Africa by the end of the year for a 3-6 month term, but God seemed to shut the door on that already. Truthfully, I hope it won't be more than a year before I can experience and be apart of a missions trip again - as my heart is on the mission field... but when and where is all for God to decide.
I also had to remind myself tonight that the time has come for me to go home. Sometimes I find it easy when I'm on a long trip [like this] to get so wrapped up in what I'm doing, that I forget that I have more waiting ahead of me AFTER the trip. And when I do starting thinking about going back to the "normal and mundane", it can get kind of depressing. But the truth is that God has more for me to do and discover when I go back to where He has me planted right now. Just last night I was reading a devotional by Charles Swindoll and it had some timely encouragement.
"God has some extremely exciting things in mind for His children. For some it may happen tomorrow. For some it may happen next month or next year or five years down the road. We don't know when. For some.... it could happen today. But the beautiful thing about this adventure called faith is that we can count on Him never to lead us astray. He knows exactly where He's taking us. Our job is to obey. 'I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.' Isaiah 41:10." -- Charles Swindoll
Tomorrow [Tuesday] is our last day here in Bangkok. In the morning we're going to be ministrying through singing and testimonies at the Bible College here. Pastor Rick asked me to share my testimony to the students here. Pray that we'd be a blessing and encouragement to the college students! The rest of the day will be slow paced... as we pack and get ready for the 24+ hour trip home. My team and I fly out of Bangkok early Wednesday morning! We all split up in Tokyo, Japan and I'll be flying the longest leg of the trip [Tokyo to Seattle] by myself [how lonely!] After clearing customs in Seattle, I will make my last stretch home - back to Denver, Colorado!
People in Thailand have asked me, "So what do you have planned when you get home?" Two days after I get home, I'm a bridesmaid in a wedding [I'm going to have to fight the jet lag with chugs of coffee... how horrible would it be to have a bridemaid pass out in the ceremony... :ahem:], and the very next day I head out with my family for a 2 week RV trip to Minnesota, Wisconsin, and Michigan! From there, my schedule appears to be busy with traveling around the US as I shoot weddings, senior, and maternity photo jobs through the end of the year. But in all reality, I dont have anything planned. I was kind of hoping to be in Togo, Africa by the end of the year for a 3-6 month term, but God seemed to shut the door on that already. Truthfully, I hope it won't be more than a year before I can experience and be apart of a missions trip again - as my heart is on the mission field... but when and where is all for God to decide.
In closing, maybe you'd find it fascinating that I got my ears pierced today: Thai style. ;-) Instead of a piercing gun, the lady used a clamp to "tighten" my ears, and then she pushed the earrings in with her bare hands. ;-) I have to wear these studs for the first 6 weeks atleast, before I can wear anything fun.
Consider this the last "journal entry", although I may post some memorable quotes, a devotional or more spiritual thoughts about the trip on this blog within the next couple weeks! For those that want to keep up with more of my every day experiences as a photographer, you're welcome to be added to my readers list for http://www.onlygrace.blogspot.com/, however I'll need your e-mail address in order to give you access!
Thank you all for your prayers and support throughout my incredible 3 week journey in Thailand. I am praising God for his faithfulness and goodness to me and I pray that He blesses each one of you immeasurably! May each one of our hearts beat with His heart for the dying world around us. People need the Lord!
Sunday, June 7, 2009
"We are the broken, You are the Healer..."
I'm sitting at Doi Chaang coffee in Chiang Rai, sipping an iced cafe mocha as the sounds "Canon in D" float to my ears. There's a local highschool orchestra playing live just in the next room over ... it's absolutely gorgeous! Makes me think of you, Cheri, and your amazing violin skills... and the days when I *used* to play the violin! :-) Sometimes I still think about pulling it out of the moth balls and playing it again. ;-)
Thank you all for your prayers regarding my health. Nearly 24 hours later, I'm feeling almost 100%, praise God! They almost had to take me into the hospital because I couldn't stop vomiting. I couldn't even hold the smallest sip of gatorade down. To tell the truth, it scared me. I layed on my bed yesterday afternoon, totally miserable, literally groaning and in the midst of my groaning I just cried out to God that he'd heal me. Here I am in Thailand... supposed to be ministrying.. and instead I was sicker than a dog. I drifted off to sleep for about 2 hours. When I woke up, the nausea was gone! Praise the Lord! I slowly began eating some crackers, drinking some Sprite, and I was able to hold it down. This morning I was able to eat some watermelon and a couple thin pieces of french toast... and at lunch I had some toast and tea [guys at home, I had to remember the quote, "Dry toast and tea?!?!" -Felix King]. My team is a.m.a.z.e.d. how much better I am in just twenty four hours. It's totally a God-thing! I'm so grateful the Lord is healing my body so quickly.
This morning we attended a Thai Baptist church. The service was all in Thai. The pastor spoke from Philippians 2 about how Christ took upon himself the form of a servant. He spoke about humility and pride. He mentioned that when we're selfish, we're not only not seeing the needs of others, but we're also not seeing Christ. WOW. That really stood out to me. "We're not seeing Christ" because Christ is humility Himself. It's because of Christ's great humilty that He is so high and lifted up today.
Tonight we're flying back to Bangkok [the Caynor's home] for a couple days of debriefing and last days of ministry before the rest of us fly back to the States in a couple of days. It's hard to believe this trip is almost over. 3 weeks goes by faster than one thinks.
Some random things I've forgotten to mention so far:
Thank you all for your prayers regarding my health. Nearly 24 hours later, I'm feeling almost 100%, praise God! They almost had to take me into the hospital because I couldn't stop vomiting. I couldn't even hold the smallest sip of gatorade down. To tell the truth, it scared me. I layed on my bed yesterday afternoon, totally miserable, literally groaning and in the midst of my groaning I just cried out to God that he'd heal me. Here I am in Thailand... supposed to be ministrying.. and instead I was sicker than a dog. I drifted off to sleep for about 2 hours. When I woke up, the nausea was gone! Praise the Lord! I slowly began eating some crackers, drinking some Sprite, and I was able to hold it down. This morning I was able to eat some watermelon and a couple thin pieces of french toast... and at lunch I had some toast and tea [guys at home, I had to remember the quote, "Dry toast and tea?!?!" -Felix King]. My team is a.m.a.z.e.d. how much better I am in just twenty four hours. It's totally a God-thing! I'm so grateful the Lord is healing my body so quickly.
This morning we attended a Thai Baptist church. The service was all in Thai. The pastor spoke from Philippians 2 about how Christ took upon himself the form of a servant. He spoke about humility and pride. He mentioned that when we're selfish, we're not only not seeing the needs of others, but we're also not seeing Christ. WOW. That really stood out to me. "We're not seeing Christ" because Christ is humility Himself. It's because of Christ's great humilty that He is so high and lifted up today.
Tonight we're flying back to Bangkok [the Caynor's home] for a couple days of debriefing and last days of ministry before the rest of us fly back to the States in a couple of days. It's hard to believe this trip is almost over. 3 weeks goes by faster than one thinks.
Some random things I've forgotten to mention so far:
- I found out I'm allergic to sawdust. Yes. Lisa and I were on the hunt for some "facilities" to do our "business", and we found this place that charged 3 baht per visit. [Yes, kinda like the 25 cents per flush kind of thing...] The place was full of [settled] sawdust, as it appeared they were doing construction and remodeling in there a day or so before. I could barely breath and every time I drew up for a breath, I'd start coughing prefusely. Lisa was like, "Man girl, you must be allergic to sawdust!" [as she was just fine]. Um, I know, that was pointless information.
- It's a normal thing here to have your feet bitten alive by ants. Since it's a customary thing to take off your shoes at the door, I had to get used to walking all over ants and getting my feet bitten. It hurts for a while and then you get this numbing sensation in your feet. Yeah, that's another piece of pointless information.
And ladies and gents, this is Nahm Waan [me] signing out from Chiang Rai, Thailand until the next post!
_________________________________
Our team's "theme" song seems to be "How Deep the Father's Love for Us." I love the words...
"How deep the Father's love for us, How vast beyond all measure, That He should give His only Son to make a wretch His treasure. How great the pain of searing loss, The Father turns His face away as wounds which mar the chosen One, Bring many sons to glory. Behold the Man upon a cross, My sin upon His shoulders, Ashamed I hear my mocking voice, Call out among the scoffers. It was my sin that held Him there, Until it was accomplished, His dying breath has brought me life, I know that it is finished. I will not boast in anything, No gifts, no power, no wisdom, But I will boast in Jesus Christ, His death and resurrection. Why should I gain from His reward? I cannot give an answer,But this I know with all my heart, His wounds have paid my ransom."
Friday, June 5, 2009
Pray for me today, as I am a bit sick due to dehydration! =/
Yesterday I just drank a gatorade and some water. I was feeling a bit stressed out and overwhelmed about something later on in the afternoon, so I didn't feel like eating much at supper [but I *did* eat some chinese spring rolls and pineapple fried rice...]. I went to bed even more stressed out, woke up with a pretty bad headache this morning and then I realized I haven't been drinking enough! I drank about half a bottle of water through out this morning, but my stomach didn't hold that down at all. . . I've already [:ahem:] thrown up a few times. :-/ I'm really disappointed I can't join the team on a visit to an Ahka village this afternoon, but there's no way I'd have the energy or strength to make it. :-( Lisa is sticking around at our hotel to make sure I dont pass out or anything. She wants to make sure I'm not sick with something [and not just dehydration]...
The Lord gave me this verse this morning: "I will proceed to do a marvellous work among this people, even a marvellous work and a wonder." Isaiah 29:14 Isn't that beautiful?
Yesterday I met up with a friend of mine [Angela Morse] and we all [my team, Angela, and I] went to the Mae Fah Luang Gardens! W.o.w. It was one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen in my life. God gave us an incredible morning of shooting at the gardens. This enchanting mist hovered over everything, and all the Thai's said it was extremely rare to have that. [New pictures can be seen here: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=99743&id=667946260&l=695fa23bf9]
I dont want to leave southeast Asia in 4 days! :-(
Yesterday I just drank a gatorade and some water. I was feeling a bit stressed out and overwhelmed about something later on in the afternoon, so I didn't feel like eating much at supper [but I *did* eat some chinese spring rolls and pineapple fried rice...]. I went to bed even more stressed out, woke up with a pretty bad headache this morning and then I realized I haven't been drinking enough! I drank about half a bottle of water through out this morning, but my stomach didn't hold that down at all. . . I've already [:ahem:] thrown up a few times. :-/ I'm really disappointed I can't join the team on a visit to an Ahka village this afternoon, but there's no way I'd have the energy or strength to make it. :-( Lisa is sticking around at our hotel to make sure I dont pass out or anything. She wants to make sure I'm not sick with something [and not just dehydration]...
The Lord gave me this verse this morning: "I will proceed to do a marvellous work among this people, even a marvellous work and a wonder." Isaiah 29:14 Isn't that beautiful?
Yesterday I met up with a friend of mine [Angela Morse] and we all [my team, Angela, and I] went to the Mae Fah Luang Gardens! W.o.w. It was one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen in my life. God gave us an incredible morning of shooting at the gardens. This enchanting mist hovered over everything, and all the Thai's said it was extremely rare to have that. [New pictures can be seen here: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=99743&id=667946260&l=695fa23bf9]
I dont want to leave southeast Asia in 4 days! :-(
Thursday, June 4, 2009
The White Temple
Today we visited the White Temple.
The hands you see rising up out of the ground are supposed to represent people's hands rising up from hell. ... Talk about a tear jerking experience. Keep praying for the people of Thailand and that God would open their eyes. He can move the mountains.. He is mighty to save.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Introductions to Chiang Rai
I am ending a fabulous day here in Chiang Rai, and might I say the best day I've had yet in Thailand?
Highlights included riding a boat down the river, riding an elephant through a rural Thai village, enjoying an iced cafe mocha at a little coffee shop in the previous mentioned village, teaching ESL classes, the encouragment that came from seeing the man at the night market reading his Bible...
I have made a little friend here in Chiang Rai. I met him yesterday as he was sitting all by his lonesome in a deserted looking alley corner. He collects money in a cup every day. I take portraits of him and we wave at each other every time I pass him in town... and he gets a twinkle in his eye and grin across his face. It makes me smile.
Life without Jesus would definitely be empty...
A bumper sticker I saw here: "Jesus loves you, whether you like it or not."
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